Sleeping Beauty
by hidarichan81
Summary: Sequel to 'A Need To Be Smaller' Rin is battling to fit in with society, and she thinks that starving herself, messing around, and cutting are the ways to go about it.SUCKY SUMMARY IS SUCKY.Rating may change.R&R PLEASE!
1. Chapter 1

**You're all probably like "Yay, she's back :D"**

**My followers make me feel loved ^w^**

**You might want to read the prequel to this, "A need to be smaller". Also, I apologize for all my grammar and spelling errors in advanced **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Vocaloid.**

X.x.X

I walk back into my loft after my…_playtime_…with Luki.

The world is spinning.

I look into my mini fridge that has barely any food in it. I haven't been to the supermarket in about three weeks. I take a diet soda and trudge to my study.

In my study, I pick up my brush and start painting. Start painting beautiful shades of red, seeping through blue bodies that are slowly fading into the light.

Like when I put a knife up to my paper thin wrist, the disgustingly beautiful red just seems to pour out of me.

Maybe I will use some real blood in this painting.

I think it over, and decide that it's not the best idea, considering I have to sell it if I want to make money and survive.

The world is run very cruelly, is it not? Human beings thrive of green paper and silver pockets, so dependent on the source. The government has made it our only life line, after all.

My small fingers trace all the red lines that run up and down my horridly thin wrist.

In a parallel world, I bet people aren't dependent on the source. In a parallel world, everyone helps each other without putting a price on kindness.

There is a green, wonderful world in which I cannot reach. No matter how many beads of blood I bring up, no matter how long I survive without eating, no matter how many creations I make, how many men I have wrapped around my little finger, I cannot seem to reach such a nice world that seems to only exist in novels and manga.

I wish I could fall into a deep, deep sleep, filled with blue and white, and just slip under until I am no more.

_And then there was just little me, sitting alone on the porch, with an empty glass in hand._

_That was the first time I ever felt lonely._

I know there is something better out there. I know once I get thin enough, I can reach it.

Maybe.

Life is all about gambling, and if you gamble the most important things to you, you will either get the best outcome ever, or the worse.

Life is a game of survival.

Life is just a game.

I stare out my window, only to see the gutted, dead bodies of the rain drops to once again be continuously trampled on once again.

I wish I could scream. At the top of my lungs.

But then they would find me, wouldn't they?

X.x.X

Slowly I walk my way into the living room. I plop down onto the couch, and flick through my phone.

_11 missed calls from Rinto._

_2 from Kaito._

_7 new emails, 3 from Meito, 4 from Gakupo._

_1 new text from Mikuo._

X.x.X

Moans and groans can be heard outside of my loft.

I invited Meito over to play.

X.x.X

I do not like going to the park. The hearts of the people around me are too noisy. They give me headaches that hurt so much the make my vision blurry.

The green is also there. Everywhere.

If there is something I cannot have, then I do not want to be around it.

X.x.X

In my dreams, I am once again the ballerina I strived to be. But I'm sleeping.

I am frozen.

**How was that for a first chapter? I hoped you liked it…**

**In this, Rin is more mature and logical, it seems.**

**I dunno. I don't write the characters, they write themselves.**

**Please R&R, flames are also welcome ^^ I loves me some good reviews to munch on, though!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello! Don't go expecting an update every day, but defiantly one every week. I would do one every day, but I start school on the 7****th**

**Idk about an update tomorrow, I'll be at Canobe Lake Park all day…so, if I feel up to it I will update.**

**I love you, followers 3**

**Disclaimer: Thank GAWD I don't own Vocaloid, or they'd be pretty f'ed up.**

X.x.X

I woke up with a heavy mind. The sun outside burned the crushed, disgusting corpses of what were once innocent little rain drops.

The green is still too far away.

X.x.X

My phone buzzes, this horrible screeching noise against the wood of my nightstand. I pick it up and look at who sent me the text.

_Mikuo._

Everyday. Everyday my phone screams at me when he sends me exactly one text. And it always said the same thing.

_Stay awake._

I didn't get it. Obviously, it was a figurative thing, since he sent it to me in the middle of the afternoon.

Sometimes, I felt his presence. Sometimes it seemed like he was everywhere, always there, watching me. I would turn around, and he would be there, but then I would blink and he would be gone.

Sometimes I was afraid to leave my prison cell to venture the world outside, because it would almost be like he was there, _waiting_ for me.

But during those times, I would remind myself that he is all the way in Boston. I was in New York. It was impossible.

And then I would venture outside, and the hair-ripping screeching of the green would chase me back to imprisonment once again.

X.x.X

Today, I sold some paintings at an auction. I'm very famous in the art world, and make a lot of money for my works.

I sit on the couch with a small icecream cup that Rinto had bought me a while ago, left in the freezer to get frost-bitten.

I stared at the frozen intestine mush, thinking all about the wonderfully grotesque after-life of it I would have to throw up after eating it.

It's not that I wanted to eat it, it's only that I don't want to face Rinto asking if I liked it before they began their playtime tomorrow after midnight.

Or should I say, the day after tomorrow? Whatever. Time is just a passing thing, not something of "essence."

Anyways, if he asks, he'll be disappointed to hear I didn't eat it. I could lie, and say yes. But there is one thing Rin Kagamine was not and will never be: a liar.

So I plopped myself down on the couch, licked then sand-like structure human beings call 'icecream,' and put on 'Danny Phantom: The Ultimate Enemy,' squealing like a fangirl every time older Danny came on screen.

Slowly bugs crawled their way into my stomach and brain, laying the eggs of the children that will soon sprout into ugly plants and thoughts.

My small little mouse-stomach cannot sustain such foul fluids.

I pick up the pieces that they leave, and heave myself to bed.

X.x.X

My playdate with Rinto was fun. He asked me if it was good, and I said no.

"Oh well, I'll buy a different flavor next time," I cringe as he says the words '_next time.'_

X.x.X

_Stay awake._

X.x.X

I pick at my salad, moving the tomatoes and such to the side. I pushed aside the bottles of different dressings the waitress gave me, and eat the lettuce.

Yesterday, I had almost past out.

The world is blurring once again.

X.x.X

I'm lonely.

It gets so heavy when I am alone for too long.

My 'friends have called me a lot, but I haven't been in the mood lately.

Luki and Meito were into threesomes.

Looks like I have ways too get rid of this heavy feeling tonight.

X.x.X

My mind is blurry.

X.x.X

I look in the mirror.

My thighs are as wide as a whale.

X.x.X

_October is cold, Rin. Why so cold?_

I don't know, mind.

X.x.X

My phone screams again, waking me up from my sleep. I look at the clock: 2:00 p.m. I had slept for fourteen hours.

I pick up the phone and look at the text that Mikuo sent me.

It was different.

_I'm lonely._

**Sorry for the bad cliff-hanger there ^^|||**

**Also, sorry the writing style has changes slightly from 'A Need to Be Smaller,' but like I said, Rin is more mature and logical-sounding in this (she is 24, after all.) So the necessary changes needed tobe made.**

**Bye, please R&R ^w^ **


	3. Chapter 3

**I got lonely, and love you guy's reviews, so I decided to update. I really want to do a sister Ffic, or collab or something **

**Btw, this story seems like it's not progressing, but it will start to…but slower than it's prologue. **

**Disclaimer:I don't own Vocaloid.**

X.x.X

Lonely?

You're _lonely_!

What the hell did you think I was feeling these past years, huh?

_Happiness?_

God, Mikuo, you are so fucked up!

…Or maybe not.

X.x.X

I sleep through the day, wake up to see Gakupo and have a little fun.

But the whole time I was with Gakupo, I couldn't stop thinking about Mikuo.

I almost screamed out his name by accident.

_Mikuo…_

X.x.X

For a second, I thought the green was getting closer.

Just for a second.

But then I realized it was only getting further and further away.

I take out a carrot to much on, reminding me of Gumo.

Like disgusting green slime that runs down my throat, protecting my stomach from eating itself, and me along with it.

I wish it would kill me.

X.x.X

Luki almost noticed the new red lines on my thighs as he took my pants off.

So close.

**There you go, a short little chapter to make your night (or day) better ^^**

**Idk, writing this just made me more lonely ^^|||**


	4. Chapter 4

**.**

**Again, I apologize. I hope none of you have lost intrest in the story. I honestly had a lot of other things to deal with lately ^^||| Very stressed. Well, enjoy!**

X.x.X

I lay quietly in my bed and stare at the text from Mikuo.

_I'm lonely._

I always think about calling him.

Messaging him back.

But I never do it. The small voice in the back of my mind tells me I would have to eat around him. It's raining again today, the small bodies screaming as they splat on the window.

X.x.X

I weigh myself today.

95 pounds.

I'm puffy and swollen all down my wrists and thighs and stomach.

X.x.X

I continue to stare at the text message before I decide that I should get a real job.

Maybe somewhere nice, heated in the cold winter days, within decent walking distance.

Short enough so I can get there without freezing over.

Long enough that I burn calories.

X.x.X

I find a job as a secretary at a fashion company about two and a half blocks away, not far. It is nice and heated in there. I meet a girl named Teto, a cheerful 30 year old who has been working in the junior fashion department for five years now.

She always wears short skirts.

X.x.X

I text Mikuo and tell him I have a stable job.

He texts me several times after that, but I'm too busy painting my rainy, screaming window pane.


End file.
